A change of comatose

How pathetic am I. I'm changing, trying to change. I'm just not succeeding. I guess I won't get it right until I actually start to notice me doing the right thing. Thus another mediocre day, they're all going to be like this for a while. Thursday, some play thing that I'm going to. It's not really just some play thing, it's the play I could be working. The play I could be happy at, but if I were to work it, I'd probably not respect it so much, stupid theatre. I'm fine, don't worry about me.

I stayed up last night, reading. I've been reading the same part over, over, and over again trying to get something out of it. Happiness is the meaning of life, the meaning of life is happiness. Without happiness, there will be no me. There's no happiness in me so there is no me. I also started reading about Consciousness and how it works in the human mind. How "thinking" works, our imagination, dreaming, surreal living in our pictured lives that will eventually not happen, basically all "if only's". But my favorite part was a quote from René Descarte whom is a French Philosopher. "I think therefore I am", do we really have a mind?

I'm on my edge, my verge.