Hugs from lightning bugs

I think it's normal to walk home from school and once I've arrived to my destination (bed) I cry. I can't help but cry. I feel like every day that I go to school, every day that I sit in class staring at one line on the fake wood of my desk, every day that I force myself out of bed and into clothes I hate, it all feels like it's forced upon me. In ways I'm ecstatic with how my life is going. Other times I'm just a pile of pathetic shit who hates where they attend school.

I'm done complaining. I'm done forcing vocabulary words into my brain, I'm not going to remember them anyways. I miss school because I want to and hate it, not because I'm sick. I'm fucking unhappy and everyone fucking sees it. So fuck you.

I keep fucking thinking about what I had my time to around this time last year. What the fuck was going on. I felt so obligated to mature and it sucked. I don't want to feel obligated anymore. I don't want to meet "standards". I wanted someone who wants to talk to me as much as I want to talk to them. I've found it. Today is going to be the last day I think of this. I've done pretty god damn well on finding my own.