Life like weeds

I kind of don't feel like writing something of my own. Here's a conversation that lasted for a while:

Gaby: No.. I took a shower last night. And the indian food that I had for lunch isn't thaaat bad.
Cris: Speaking of indian food, I farted in Oliver's face today when I got home.
Gaby: Poooor thing!! on purpose?
Cris: Well I felt it! And he popped up from under my legs when my feet were on the coffee table, so I ripped one right in his face.
Gaby: Oh lord. nooo.. ugh I feel like throwing up right on the floor, just to make a scene.
Cris: With your hair flailing everywhere.
Gaby: Some chicks are talking about fucking their boyfriends! I'm sitting right here.
Cris: So, make up a boyfriend who one up's everything their boyfriends do.
Gaby: I don't know them, they're new girls... super lame.
Cris: Even better!! They'll remember you as the non-virgin with the excellent boyfriend.
Gaby: No. No. No. I think I'll just throw up on the white board to make things interesting.
Cris: Have it splat everywhere! Like slap it on to the board.
Gaby: Eww.. Like projectile vomit my chickpea curry and rice on to the board! and then I'll sit down and pretend like nothing happened.
Cris: And fix your hair and put your shirt that you ripped off, back on. It'll work. If I was there, I'd clap after you sat down.
Gaby: Just start a slow clap. When the clap is becoming really loud, I will jump back up.. rip off my clothes that I was wearing over my tuxedo and tap dance to I wanna rock and roll (all night) by kiss.
Cris: Exactly.
Gaby: If only that would really happen.. If I saw that, I think I would cry out of happiness.
Cris: I would pass out, then pee in my chair.
Gaby: Then you would knock over your desk in a fit of rage and that action would open up a long forgotten nuclear whirlpool in the middle of the classroom..
Cris: And Seniorita Ray and Romano get sucked in and then the whole Rosary soccer team..
Gaby: And the whirlpool would suddenly spit out a brown haired mermaid that would later find out to be a reincarnation of Billy Mayes.
Cris: And then right after Billy Mayes, Michael Jackson who at the time was a pre-op trans centar with blond hair.
Gaby: But then a green eyes water snake will slither out of whinny the poo's eye and will eat everyone.. except Seniorita Ray, who made me conjugate verbs while I slayed the beast with Griffindors left shoe.
Cris: Then out of pure anger and hatred for mexicans, Mrs. Vilaje tears a whole through the ozon layer and forces her nose through the black hole, only to stab Seniorita Ray.
Gaby: And Ray fought back with a leftover can of tomato juice that was given to her by Paula Abdul.. But when she threw the can, it crumbled into ground beef and attacked all the cats in the neighborhood.
Cris: Then the cats will come form into a really really really tall version of Natalie Golda with Tanya's laugh as her voice.
Gaby: and that will break all the windows in the school.. and everyone will be safe except one shard of glass that will stab T-Go and she will pop like a balloon with one last scootily echoing throughout the halls.
Cris: Then a jeep full of marine biologists will find the remains of an ancient T-Go and extract her bones and bodily fluids from the green walls of hell.
Gaby: then the jeep will explode causing the air to become a sort of pressure chamber that changed the marine biologist into a mega power boy band from the devil.
Cris: And the songs will have to do with sex, pussy and orange county! Just like Kotton Mouth Kinds. Word, then Rubalcaba will come out of her cave and bless up with incense.
Gaby: And then out of nowhere, Mr. Clough will karate kick her in the shin, causing them to start a rap battle that in an ugly turn of events, Ms. Pautch will win!
Cris: And then we'll pop out from the inside of Woodards hair and start eating every map with south america printed on it and burp up a trophy.
Gaby: That was awarded to Miss. Ochoa's boyfriend Kyle for the most creative pumpkin carving.. but from within the trophy, there was a chinese food place that had world class orange chicken.
Cris: Then that orange chicken made love to the drama teacher then later we all had sassy curnles of popcorn orange chicken bouncing around everywhere.
Gaby: And those sassy kernels had mutant sperm that got lauren pregnant and in a record of hours delivered a litter of rainbow trout.
Cris: Then the Mayflower came and a hoard of japanese iron chefs net up the rainbow trout and accidently impregnated a large pod of killer whales.
Gaby: And the killer whales would start to impregnate mothers on soccer teams who would show off their children who were athletically talented and performed a variety of country songs.
Cris:Then those soccer players will grow up and artificially inciminate millions of oxen and enroll their children into mommy and me modeling for keloges.
Gaby: And those boxes with their picture will have a secret chemical that turned anyone who ate those corn flakes into a baby bear.
Cris: Then anyone who ate from the special surprise light up spoons, will morph every man with a beard into an alaskan fur hunter and spent their life on a mission for the baby bears!
Gaby: And then the beard will jump off the hunters faces and we will marry them in a joint wedding with Kelley from the Office and Tracey from 30 Rock.
Cris: And Dexter from.... Dexter and Amy Pohler and Rashida Jones will be our brides maids. Along with Lady Gaga and Madonna playing craps on a table next to the alter.
Gaby: But then Madonnas arms will rebel and pop off of her body because they were having an affair with Jessica Simpsons left thumb.. and then us and our beardswill elope in vegas and give the newly free couple our grand affair.
Cris: Then they will get arrested for identity theft and end up buying a whole club with seals who are gay and share Club Sandwhiches like in lady and the tramp.
Gaby: Read back everything we just said.

This went on for too long.