Redirecting

All I keep thinking is what have I done. I fell asleep thinking it. I dreamt of thinking it. I woke up in the middle of the night and kept asking what I was doing. I woke up in the morning, not in school, sick asking what the fuck is going on with me. Me rushing into something is not a way of you telling yourself you're okay, you can be normal now. I went too fast..

This indecisive feeling is getting old now. It's ruining my life from something that I want so bad, I'm just pushing it away with out knowing. Slowly I don't think about what I've done. I carry on my way, and try not to think about it. That will not work at all.

I don't want to do anything. I don't want halloween. I didn't even want to go to school. I wont be anything this year.