Well well

Dear life,

The struggle of convincing my parents to let me do independent studies is getting closer and closer to success. They're just as much annoyed with public school as I am. I just think it's a hassle going to such easy classes when you can just take them online and pass with in a couple of months. Is is possibly an easy way out of school? Maybe, but you'd think that I'd be lazy but I'm not. I don't mind doing the work at all anymore. I just wish I liked it more and appreciated what I was being taught at Rosary. Instead of just caring about my friends and art classes and who I'm going to see at 5th period. What a waste. I wasted my own time.

I regret a lot that I did my freshmen and sophomore year. If there was anytime I'd get an opportunity to take it all back. To not make Mrs. Norman cry. To not get kicked out of Rubalcaba's class. To try better and study for my english tests. To actually pay attention and not be in the 'bathroom' during health. I'd want to take back everything I did as well. My actions only fucked me over so much. I regret not putting time and effort into everything I did.

If only there was someone I can tell all this too, sign a contract, and just go back.
But there isn't. I'm going to learn how to drive, work on my GED and live a normal life with out having to worry about regrets. I missed my chance.

Sincerely, me

Well it's nice to see you too.

It's a mad house, this modern life

I've been working on a piece that speaks of sex and desperation.
I've been screwing on the tracks of abandoned train stations--



I'd like to live somewhere and be penniless but still feel content.
I'd like to walk barefoot on hard wood floor that doesn't creek.
I'd like to be indoors with windows open to let in a warm draft.
I'd like to have a big white empty room with a 15x18 foot canvas set up.
I'd like to have pots and pots of plants and flowers.
I'd like to have windows. An entire wall of glass windows.
I'd like to have a small iron balcony.
I'd like to walk around aimlessly knowing where I'll end up.
I'd like to feel accompanied when feeling alone.
I'd like to live happy someday.

For now I have friends whom I can feel like a 10 year old boy with.

A short tune

You're always wrong

So I painted yesterday
I got my morning face on, shut the fuck up.



Today, I saw Alice in Wonderland with Paul. Woop.
I think I would have enjoyed it more if it was like this.

I bet the beds are comfortable on mars

Dear birds that live in the vent above my bedroom window,

Please, stop shaking dust off of your feathered coats. You don't realize that I hear every movement and conversation you guys have. I don't care if the kids don't sleep during the day. I also don't care if they don't sleep at night. Just stop being so loud about it. I hope you know that I can hear when you try to sneak other birds into your nest, moma bird. That's right, while your husband is out looking for food and the children are finally put down to sleep, I hear his claws, perched on the pecked out wire you guys call your front door. Please, find it in the kindness of your little 460 beats per minute heart.

Sincerely, the person who lives below you.

p.s. Also, please stop doing your business off the side of your front door. When it's windy, all of it hits my window and I have to clean it the next day. Thank you.

I got a new phone

Hello

I am ready for tomorrow.
I am ready for them to x-ray my brain.
I am ready to face ze facts.
I am ready to move on.
I am ready to stop hearing about other peoples problems.
I am ready to stop complaining.
I am ready to leave school.
I am ready to drive?
I am ready to regret doing something that I'll regret.
I am ready to live ma life.
I am ready to start loving.
I am ready to go.
I am ready to stop wasting time.
I am ready to go everywhere barefooted.
I am ready to start acting my age and nothing younger.
I am ready to be normal again.
I am ready to be myself around anyone.
I am ready to tell off the lady in the attendance office.
I am ready to stop talking to you. You know who you fucking are.
I am ready to stop speaking figuratively.
I am ready to stop doing things to impress you.
I am ready to try something new.
I am ready to finish the painting I've been meaning to finish.
I am ready to start a new career.
I am ready to not be weak anymore.
I am ready to think for my own.
I am ready to stop 'crushing' on a person who has no interest in me.
I am ready to stop thinking there's someone I should miss.
I am ready to understand where people are coming from.
I am ready to forget this past year I wasted time on.
I am ready to stop fighting.
I am ready to start knowing.
I am ready to love the entire week because I haven't been at school a single day.

I love you, who ever you are.

Eastern glow

YYY

Leap year says what?

Home is anywhere with you



Literally, only the best essays are written at the last minute at 2 am.

Gibbens the Gib

I haven't heard this in fooo ever. Thanks Gibbens

Nantucket reds

Also,

I went along with your twisting arms

I've never been involved in such a situation that practically has nothing to do with me at all. Just kidding, unfortunately I have, but I'm not going to speak of her. Oh boy is all I can say. The week is over and a new one will start in two days.

Tomorrow I have a game.
Today I had my second interview for work. I think it went very well. Federal income taxes, here I come. Later reema, lauren and I are going out to get pho and boba for dinner. And later later, shit will go down.

Nobody's first, and you're last

"A few years ago, a tornado hit this place. It killed the people, left and right. Dogs died. Cats died. Houses were split open, and you could see necklaces hanging from branches of trees. People's legs and neck bones were sticking out. Oliver found a leg on his roof. A lot of people's fathers died, and were killed by the great tornado. I saw a girl fly through the sky, and I looked up her skirt. Her skull was smashed. And some kids died. My neighbor was killed in that house. He used to ride bikes and three-wheelers. They never found his head. I always thought that was funny."

Nothing particular

Je t'aime mon peu d'amour. Mon lionesque amour.

I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH IT FUCKING HURTS.

Edit: I don't have a reason at all to hate you. Turns out I'm talking about myself.

My everyday vocabulary

1. Fuck "insert name"
2. I'm so "insert complaint"
3. I feel like "insert adjective for feces"
4. I don't feel like "insert any verb"
5. My phone froze
6. Reach for iPod
7. I'm going back next year
8. I think I'll go home next period
9. I don't think I'll go to next period
10. What period is it..

Everyday thoughts

1. If I was at Rosary I'd understand this
2. I want my uniform and tights back
3. Do I have Rugby tonight
4. Today is going to suck
5. That girl looks sick with those pants on
6. I want food
7. Zzzzz
8. Why does my phone vibrate so loud
9. How many hours of sleep did I get?
10. I'm really annoyed with you
11. Stop talking to me
12. What am I doing this weekend
13. Zzzz some more
14. Fuck, I'm going to miss Kairos..
15. My hands are fucking cold
16. I wonder what she's doing right now
17. What's the weather like in Australia
18. I wonder what they're doing in D.Maff's class
19. I hope it rains
20. What am I doing

Complaining is the new marijuana

See how mediocre everyday is. I didn't go to school again. I should but I didn't have a ride and I don't want to walk and I have to go to a doctors appointment with my mother and later go to costco to develop my film then drive to buena park to turn in an application. Up side: Rugby tonight. Down side: pictures of summer.

Bukowski

If for you, it will happen

I can't stop watching this. I normally don't watch these types of shows on tv but I found a season of it on Netflix and it's what I watch while I'm falling asleep. It's successfully taken the L word's place (RIP). I think I have a problem, after Weeds ended, my television selection went down hill. Parks and Rec., the Office, It's Always Sunny and Arrested Development will always have the warmest parts of my black hole of a heart.



The one character I really actually like, happens to have buck-teeth, lulz
Gaby: "a more fucked up version of Degrassi"
Happy to say, I got over Degrassi in 6th grade.

I am just on a roll of making myself sound/ look like a fool.

Adequate replacement

Netflix on Xbox Live is a revelation.
So is hawaiian bbq shaved ice when it's 60º outside.

Hills and buildings

Oh, and rocks. I spent almost three hours in the car to drive to a rugby game that we lost and that I didn't get to play in. But I have to/ get to start the entire next game on saturday. That's basically it.. I don't feel like writing.