A thought otherwise

Basically all that I'm doing today. Still don't know what to be. My computer is acting up and not letting me do whatever I want with my pictures so I was left with no choice but to delete pictures/ data and empty my trash. Again.

Late night texts that I receive in the morning are always nice, I like waking up to them :) They cheer me up and make me have a good day.

Redirecting

All I keep thinking is what have I done. I fell asleep thinking it. I dreamt of thinking it. I woke up in the middle of the night and kept asking what I was doing. I woke up in the morning, not in school, sick asking what the fuck is going on with me. Me rushing into something is not a way of you telling yourself you're okay, you can be normal now. I went too fast..

This indecisive feeling is getting old now. It's ruining my life from something that I want so bad, I'm just pushing it away with out knowing. Slowly I don't think about what I've done. I carry on my way, and try not to think about it. That will not work at all.

I don't want to do anything. I don't want halloween. I didn't even want to go to school. I wont be anything this year.

Fruit garden

Hey there, Mr. morning sun, what kind of creature are you?
I can't stare, but I know you're there
Goddamn, how I wish I knew

And hey there, Mrs. lovely moon, you're lonely and you're blue
It's kind of strange, the way you change
But then again, we all do too.

Memphis & 53rd

Modulate Back To The Tonic

I pretty much did nothing. I'm pretty much almost the worst person on this planet. I did a rap and back up danced today. 'Nuff said.

I feel SOsoSOsoSOso stupid for listening to Deadmau5. That's 16 lashes right there.

La van der

I go on the computer but I just don't stop by my blog. It's not like there's some sort of follow up I need to do. I will pretty much just sum up everything in bullet points :) again.

Monday October 26, 2009

• Arrived home at exactly 3:04 like usual
• Walked to Stater Bros to meet Jackie
• Got 2 large rolls of cookie dough & 2 tubs of rainbow sprinkle frosting
• Come home and begin our great architectural masterpiece
• "We should have made a village.."
• Our walls and some of the measurements were off, fixed it
• Recorded while we assembled the walls
• Caked on frosting like ceramic slip<3 

• All this while watching Order of the Phoenix 

• Made some stop animation videos through photobooth 

• Half Face Ali was there too after a long day of trying to kill Batman (dentist numbed up her face, a lot)

 • We "LOLed" for a while at her face 

• Completed our home and ate a couple little pieces 

• Happy Birthday Yakhee :]

 

Tuesday October 27, 2009

• Fuck you school
• My legs were on fire when I got home (literally power-walked up/down hills)
• Peed my heart out

• Nuzzled with Ottie in the wind
• Had the best dinner
• Started and finished homework
• Bought Anthony Green & Good Old War tickets for Dec 28 at the Glass House
• Cried a little because I was so excited
• Tutored Lisette through vchat.. hahahaha
• Alright, I'm done :)

Chickpea

About a week or so ago, I drove all the way to la habra to be sweet and surprise my best friend gaby, whom at the time suffered from swine flu. My first reaction to when she told me she had it, I couldn't stop laughing. I felt bad so I had my roommate Lety buy her a bag of Oreos, Ali took a few and left a note saying sorry, then we stopped at Boba Loca to buy her honeydew slush with no boba. I forgot she liked boba so that was an F for me. I left all the crap on her back door of her house and yesterday she was repaying me for what I did for her and she bought me crude venansuelan boy band record. Along with other Greatest Hits on vinyl.

A lot of people over exaggerated Paranormal Activity. I went with Anthony Michael Chris and Andrew. Most of them were covering their faces, especially Andrew. I only covered mine when she got drug out of bed and the ending where it shows her creepy face, that's it. Other wise, I slept perfectly fine last night. Even though I webcammed till five o' clock in the morning and was texting till exactly six-thirty. I woke up about 25 minutes ago. So many people will kill this movie for me. It was good, but I'm honestly used to watching the paranormal specials on 'demonic forces' on TV that this one didn't feel any different from what I've seen before. It just felt like a marathon of episodes packed into a movie.

Andrew and I watched his fish completely devour a gold fish. It's eyes, stomach, fins and bodily fluids got torn out. I felt morbid for watching it die and squirm, but it was entertaining hearing the crunches of three against one. One was a Figure 8 puffer fish. Probably the one that was most savage. The first fish tore a hole through the entire fish. To the fact that we could see the other side of the tank. "No wonder you two have gotten along so well, you're both weird.." I love his dad.

Webcam, calling and texting will never be enough. We'll never have enough time in a day. We'd need at least a whole entire day/ weekend to feel satisfied with everything having to do with spending time together. Nearly every hour, I start to miss you.

Proper topper

A sentence only a stupid myspace bro(hoe) would use on their about me:

Idgaf so I'm dtf, brb.
lol

I'm happy I've never used any of those. Let alone, in one sentence.

Hey hey hey, guess where I went again? Disneyland. I also ran into almost half of my family. That wouldn't of been good. We also had an epic fail on trying to sneak into Paranormal Activity. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs have never felt so good to listen too. All four albums on shuffle is like a party in my ears. I don't mean that in a stupid way, literal tense. There are people that live in my ears. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs also make me say things twice. Like remember when I started this paragraph with "hey hey hey", proof.



I've never loved anyone more than:

Karen O
Regina Spektor
Brody Dalle
Devendra Banhart
Lauren Silva

Life like weeds

I kind of don't feel like writing something of my own. Here's a conversation that lasted for a while:

Gaby: No.. I took a shower last night. And the indian food that I had for lunch isn't thaaat bad.
Cris: Speaking of indian food, I farted in Oliver's face today when I got home.
Gaby: Poooor thing!! on purpose?
Cris: Well I felt it! And he popped up from under my legs when my feet were on the coffee table, so I ripped one right in his face.
Gaby: Oh lord. nooo.. ugh I feel like throwing up right on the floor, just to make a scene.
Cris: With your hair flailing everywhere.
Gaby: Some chicks are talking about fucking their boyfriends! I'm sitting right here.
Cris: So, make up a boyfriend who one up's everything their boyfriends do.
Gaby: I don't know them, they're new girls... super lame.
Cris: Even better!! They'll remember you as the non-virgin with the excellent boyfriend.
Gaby: No. No. No. I think I'll just throw up on the white board to make things interesting.
Cris: Have it splat everywhere! Like slap it on to the board.
Gaby: Eww.. Like projectile vomit my chickpea curry and rice on to the board! and then I'll sit down and pretend like nothing happened.
Cris: And fix your hair and put your shirt that you ripped off, back on. It'll work. If I was there, I'd clap after you sat down.
Gaby: Just start a slow clap. When the clap is becoming really loud, I will jump back up.. rip off my clothes that I was wearing over my tuxedo and tap dance to I wanna rock and roll (all night) by kiss.
Cris: Exactly.
Gaby: If only that would really happen.. If I saw that, I think I would cry out of happiness.
Cris: I would pass out, then pee in my chair.
Gaby: Then you would knock over your desk in a fit of rage and that action would open up a long forgotten nuclear whirlpool in the middle of the classroom..
Cris: And Seniorita Ray and Romano get sucked in and then the whole Rosary soccer team..
Gaby: And the whirlpool would suddenly spit out a brown haired mermaid that would later find out to be a reincarnation of Billy Mayes.
Cris: And then right after Billy Mayes, Michael Jackson who at the time was a pre-op trans centar with blond hair.
Gaby: But then a green eyes water snake will slither out of whinny the poo's eye and will eat everyone.. except Seniorita Ray, who made me conjugate verbs while I slayed the beast with Griffindors left shoe.
Cris: Then out of pure anger and hatred for mexicans, Mrs. Vilaje tears a whole through the ozon layer and forces her nose through the black hole, only to stab Seniorita Ray.
Gaby: And Ray fought back with a leftover can of tomato juice that was given to her by Paula Abdul.. But when she threw the can, it crumbled into ground beef and attacked all the cats in the neighborhood.
Cris: Then the cats will come form into a really really really tall version of Natalie Golda with Tanya's laugh as her voice.
Gaby: and that will break all the windows in the school.. and everyone will be safe except one shard of glass that will stab T-Go and she will pop like a balloon with one last scootily echoing throughout the halls.
Cris: Then a jeep full of marine biologists will find the remains of an ancient T-Go and extract her bones and bodily fluids from the green walls of hell.
Gaby: then the jeep will explode causing the air to become a sort of pressure chamber that changed the marine biologist into a mega power boy band from the devil.
Cris: And the songs will have to do with sex, pussy and orange county! Just like Kotton Mouth Kinds. Word, then Rubalcaba will come out of her cave and bless up with incense.
Gaby: And then out of nowhere, Mr. Clough will karate kick her in the shin, causing them to start a rap battle that in an ugly turn of events, Ms. Pautch will win!
Cris: And then we'll pop out from the inside of Woodards hair and start eating every map with south america printed on it and burp up a trophy.
Gaby: That was awarded to Miss. Ochoa's boyfriend Kyle for the most creative pumpkin carving.. but from within the trophy, there was a chinese food place that had world class orange chicken.
Cris: Then that orange chicken made love to the drama teacher then later we all had sassy curnles of popcorn orange chicken bouncing around everywhere.
Gaby: And those sassy kernels had mutant sperm that got lauren pregnant and in a record of hours delivered a litter of rainbow trout.
Cris: Then the Mayflower came and a hoard of japanese iron chefs net up the rainbow trout and accidently impregnated a large pod of killer whales.
Gaby: And the killer whales would start to impregnate mothers on soccer teams who would show off their children who were athletically talented and performed a variety of country songs.
Cris:Then those soccer players will grow up and artificially inciminate millions of oxen and enroll their children into mommy and me modeling for keloges.
Gaby: And those boxes with their picture will have a secret chemical that turned anyone who ate those corn flakes into a baby bear.
Cris: Then anyone who ate from the special surprise light up spoons, will morph every man with a beard into an alaskan fur hunter and spent their life on a mission for the baby bears!
Gaby: And then the beard will jump off the hunters faces and we will marry them in a joint wedding with Kelley from the Office and Tracey from 30 Rock.
Cris: And Dexter from.... Dexter and Amy Pohler and Rashida Jones will be our brides maids. Along with Lady Gaga and Madonna playing craps on a table next to the alter.
Gaby: But then Madonnas arms will rebel and pop off of her body because they were having an affair with Jessica Simpsons left thumb.. and then us and our beardswill elope in vegas and give the newly free couple our grand affair.
Cris: Then they will get arrested for identity theft and end up buying a whole club with seals who are gay and share Club Sandwhiches like in lady and the tramp.
Gaby: Read back everything we just said.

This went on for too long.

Pace of pulse

So my new red high tops are not for running. I was three laps in and instead of stopping I went and bruised the top of my foot. I don't exactly now how that just happens, but it happened. The head aches I get in the morning from my tooth, usually stop after second period. They didn't stop so I just decided I should leave.

I did, now I'm home listening to this stupid fucking metric song that's been stuck in my head. I don't even like techno. Well some people get hugely offended when I say that dance, house, electro ect. whatever, sounds similar to me. I may not appreciate it but there are some, some types of music which are like "techno" that I'd have to be in the mood for. Mood: not head ache mood.

Justice is alright I guess. Nah nah, I'd still have to be in the mood to listen. Fuck you drum and bass. Hahahah, anyways.

I ate cookies last night because of my lack of homework. Gabe also recommended I watch Ginger Snaps. Pretty fucked up and predictable horror movie. I got really into it. There was a lot of blood which made me feel like there's nothing like halloween!

hello eyes.

I'm infatuated with Lykke Li and Lady Gaga. ...currently. Lykke Li, always.

Booooooom

"Whaddup third grade"

Without saying names, whats one thing about the last person you kissed?
L: African American im prettyy sure from what i remember..
C: the 2 legged cheetah..named jenny...

We're just like that

Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
L: i havent burped in front of you yet
C: once i pass peeing on the phone with you then we're good

The good life

Sleeping in felt good. I stayed up late last night because I got side tract with drawing. I haven't been able to draw. Well I come up with things in my head, write them down on the back of my Target receipts and lose them in the infinite abyss of my pull out keyboard dash on my desk.

So I went with what was in mind and I drew this. It's too cartoony, I don't like it.

I punched out the lenses on my fake Ray Bans that I'm getting tired of. I need new sunglasses anyways. And I STILL do not get why people, specifically girls and homosexual sixteen year old guys, wear these glasses with no lenses? I mean, they even sell them with clear plastic lenses now! I missed the look like a retard memo. I just made a memo joke. Hello 1997, how are you?

This one day

I have complete and total control over myself. It's not the thoughts of someone else steering in my head, behind my eyes. I don't like most people. Most people do things that can ruin the way I feel about everything and anything. But for now I'm okay and one thing that can keep me "alright" is the thing that matters to me the most. It's not a feeling, it's not exactly a material possession nor is it that tangible, but it's meant a lot to me for a long time.

Look at This.

^ That's not it by the way ^

I take Facebook surveys and don't post them.



What is she going to do? Breath heavily and yell at it while in her white pants.

Turddy Grams

Teddy gram overload last night.

I'm going to start counting the posts that start with "I went to disneyland yesterday/ today.." and so on and so forth. It was pact so Elizabeth Lauren and I left to Elizabeths house. We decided on this after they left me sitting on the floor by the tram. Waiting for them to walk up and find me for almost an hour. It turns out they got to ride the Materhorn twice, got churros, jamba juice and had time to sit outside the rainforest cafe when I said to come find me sitting by the tram exit. I could have killed them. I was too annoyed with parental douche bags dressed up in obnoxiously large costumes with their stupid children.

Then this homo dad had the nerve to be funny while I was charging my way through the sea of douches and try and play chicken with me and yelled right in my face "which way you going which way you going.." I gave him my chola look and he was off. Worst part was his family was way ahead of him. I passed by them two minutes before he decided to be a bitch and challenge me in chicken.

I found them and we played in the espn zone arcade and liz spit her gum off the balcony where people were having dinner at a bar. It hit a woman's coat.

The rest was all a blur. I woke up sore and on liz's bed. Then my parents picked us up and I woke up in my bed with spider bites and Laurenless. There's also chocolate in my pocket. I slept in my clothes.

I forgot to say, we saw Where the Wild Things Are (uhhhmazing) then I was off to surprise someone in disneyland :)

I just remember too, my parents got my progress report in the mail yesterday. Three B's and one C :) My life is near completion. I'm also going to Medieval Times with my family today. 

My mom just said she's going to make 'hash' for breakfast. I think she meant hash browns. My dad took it the wrong way. So did I.

Filthy mongrel

Stew stewstew stew.

I've never felt so pissed off that I've felt the need to be impulsive and think about getting home and cutting all my hair off. That's a lie, I have almost done that. Not too long ago :D

Every teacher that I've ever met that has ever talked about Charles Darwin, is never a positive polly about him. He didn't kill anyone, he's pure genius if I'd think so myself. He's pretty much to me, how Joseph is to a christian. That is probably the worst analogy I've ever used. Not poor analogy, sinful analogy. Albert Einstein and Bukowski is up there as well. Meet you in hell.

Anyways, THIS piece of soft serve crap has been soaking moisture from my brain for about a week and a half now.

Ze vlog

Walking in the rain listening to radiohead is probably the best thing I've done for myself all week. Ali is seeing Bob Dylan tonight :(. I bought a binder, milano cookies and THREE harry potter movies. My collection is near completion as soon as the next two movies come out on dvd. The excitement is killing me!!

I also stole my moms trench coat with wicked awesome shoulder pads. Later I stole my sisters mustache and dads scarf and neighbors glasses.

my obsession is getting serious.

Hugs from lightning bugs

I think it's normal to walk home from school and once I've arrived to my destination (bed) I cry. I can't help but cry. I feel like every day that I go to school, every day that I sit in class staring at one line on the fake wood of my desk, every day that I force myself out of bed and into clothes I hate, it all feels like it's forced upon me. In ways I'm ecstatic with how my life is going. Other times I'm just a pile of pathetic shit who hates where they attend school.

I'm done complaining. I'm done forcing vocabulary words into my brain, I'm not going to remember them anyways. I miss school because I want to and hate it, not because I'm sick. I'm fucking unhappy and everyone fucking sees it. So fuck you.

I keep fucking thinking about what I had my time to around this time last year. What the fuck was going on. I felt so obligated to mature and it sucked. I don't want to feel obligated anymore. I don't want to meet "standards". I wanted someone who wants to talk to me as much as I want to talk to them. I've found it. Today is going to be the last day I think of this. I've done pretty god damn well on finding my own.

Twenty Two Fourteen

I haven't said this in a while. Well at least meant it when I said it. I love my life. Yes, right now. The only bad thing going on is my school. Still not at Rosary. I will be filled with complete and total bliss once I am back. Then I'll probably deflate and fall to the ground from being overwhelmed with joy and happiness.

I also love the Album Leaf and Modest Mouse right now. And Inherit The Wind. And Macaroni and Cheese. And not being at school. And watching the L word while curled in a blanket. And I guess Oliver even though he peed in my damn floor this morning.

Definitely made up for all the crappy dances I've ever been to in my life.

Paper thin

Zombieland can very well be riding shotgun with Shawn of the Dead. My new zombie addiction.

Had the Brown and Blue photoshoot this morning. Traffic was a bitch because of a long beach marathon and half, NO, all the streets we needed to go down from our house, were detoured and at the end of every fucking street, you can see healthy bastards jogging with their pork swords slapping to every movement in their loose short shorts and their newbalances and hairy legs.

Mistaking my name for someone else's can really change my mood for hours. I laughed it off. Then I continued to think about it for the rest of the drive home till now. Although that wasn't the first time that's happened. It's happened approximately four times already.

Six five GO!

So I fit in my dress perfectly now (thank god for walking home everyday), I'm curling my hair for example for tomorrow (success) and a friend is going to do my make up. My sister was supposed to do it, it's all still undecided. I have everything for tomorrow. Weird part is, I'm excited when I've always hated dances. Seriously, A L W A Y S hated them.

I never liked when someone encouraged me to go to dances. I'll go if I want to. I never liked dressing up. I'd have to want to. I never liked when someone encouraged me to dance. I'll never want to. And I hate all of that.

This time, I want to go to the dance, I want to dress up, I want to go with my wonderful date, but I will not dance.

Anozira

That's Arizona spelled backwards. I couldn't think of a title. Nothing beats a friday night at home. I guess it makes up for all of last weekend. Disneyland, Knotts, Doyers game. Sounds like a mexican family visiting the popular spots of california. I forgot to put Soak City with socks on. I'm done being mean against my own "kind" so my mother says. It's cool because I don't care.

I'm trying to figure out how to upload audio and video to boobtube/ music player. I guess I'll never learn. Pretty much my whole night. Again. With her. My friend. Best. Her. Penis. Was touching me. What..

We're going to build a fort monday if I don't have school. All are invited. Except for you. Yeah, you with the hair.

Two three four

There is going to be an impact tonight/ tomorrow morning at 04:31:56. Nasa is going to launch a satellite onto the moon and you can see the impact from a 12" telescope. I HAVE A 12" TELESCOPE! I'm excited but I'll be so tired for tomorrow. Oh well. I won't need my brain that much.

Finally, upped the gauge size so I can buy maybe jade or oak 7"16s to go with my Homecoming dress. I'm trying my best to match my date but so far my boobs are too big for the dress I borrowed from Liz.

I watched the Blob today and remembered how much I used to love watching those types of movies with my pops. Young Frankenstein will always be my favorite. I don't care what you say.

I'm re-reading Inherit the Wind for the third time. Yes, I am reading a mandatory sophomore lit 2 in class book. I feel in love. I usually hate reading plays, this one is particularly exceptional.

I'm going to throw on (literally) my uniform and show up at school. I'll ask someone what my first period is on my non-existent schedule and just carry on with my day. I wonder if anyone would notice. I fucking miss my friends.

 

Now: doesn't have braces and doesn't wear underwear.

Now: doesn't smoke anymore but still gay. wait, not that either.

Now: still walks around with her pants down.

Now: still pregnant.

Now: still hot and sexy like hell, as usual.

Color my brain

Soo umm(:
Today should go down in history.

A system

I fell asleep in a chair in the dentist office about an hour and a half ago. Now I'm home, cooking. I woke up and saw that my dad was texting me asking what our ETA was (Exact Time of Arrival). His text woke me up so I replied "Enchilladas". I though he asked what I ATE. That was the end of that.

She cleaned my teeth and I have to go back for surgery. Yaaay.
I'm tired, happy, relieved, happy and pretty much just really really happy.
Except for the whole homecoming thing. The one time I was asked and really wanted to go with the person who asked me, we don't have $40 for my ticket. Everyone else is going, of course.. Except for me.

I'm making YOU a cd :)

Edit: guess who randomly got $40 :)

Chaos of trouble

So I went to a dodgers game yesterday. All day.. all all day. Today is my pops birthday and I made him a card and got him a hat. I feel so bleh. The weather is pretty cool and progress reports come out tomorrow. I think I'm pretty much passing all my classes. I don't know about history because I always miss that one seeing that it's the first class in the morning. Passing math with a B art with a fucking C because I'm absent so much. Whatever, it's school. I'm happy :)

Chinese food

Knotts was amazing. No other words can describe it, at all. I'm starting to tolerate walking a lot and walking anywhere. I'm becoming used to standing around too. I do it at school and every day I walk home and have tolerance for heat too.. a little. I hardly get super drained anymore. Not like how I used to just fall on the floor every time I ran the mile.

I'm so tired though, I'm getting bags under my eyes already and the morning nausea didn't happen this morning but I don't know if it'll happen tomorrow. I hope not. It makes me not want to get up at all. But I have a dodgers game with some homofag best of a friend tomorrow, so woo, dodger dogs.. or Yay, over sized weiners.

I dyed my hair today too. Yesterday. Saturday. I dyed it. I'm done. Goodnight. penis.

Struck me by the head

I went to Rosary day yesterday. It was nice and didn't make me miss anything even more than what I already did. Overall, I'm incredibly happy. I felt so weird when they announced the two girls before and after me in my section. That's where my name was supposed to be, but soon motherfuckers, soon. My little sister is also a ginger. I want to give her an "I have no soul" shirt from south park. Ohh seventh grade.

Gaby slept over last night and we watched the moon together and fell asleep like an old married couple. I woke up last night at the time I usually swing my arm over to intensely grab a pillow to spoon, but no. It was Gaby whom I almost spooned, so I quickly slapped my arm back and fell fast asleep.

Knotts scary farm tonights. I bought my stupid ticket this morning right after I finished watching 500 Days of Summer in bed at 1:05 pm. I haven't cried while watching a movie since the first time I watched Eternal Sunshine two or three years ago. It's a good movie but some people's lives are really fucking like that...

I'm incredibly nervous for tonight. First time meeeting..